Once upon a time there was an aspiring young man that made a name for himself by serving in the New Mexico legislature in his early 20s. Later, he would serve in the U.S. Army as an officer. He purchased a hotel and formed it into a chain that has become renowned the world round: The Hilton Hotel Corporation. Conrad Nicholson Hilton, Sr. begot Barron Hilton, Barron begot Richard, and Richard begot a girl named Paris.
Once upon a time the young hotel heiress got into trouble for driving while under the influence of alcohol and got her license suspended. Not much longer later she was caught driving—without a license. She would eventually go to jail and serve a few days before being discharged for “undisclosed medical reasons.” This has been disclosed as being anything from a rash to suicidal tendencies. Why discuss Paris Hilton in the context of these writings? Paris Hilton possesses traits that are representative of narcissism.
Pretty much everyone has some narcissistic traits: Conceited, argumentative, selfish, etc; but what is required to make them a part of a disorder is for them to arrange themselves into particular patterns of behavior. Narcissism 101 defines a narcissist as someone who exhibits 5 of the following 9 traits:
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
4. Requires excessive admiration.
5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
The narcissist is one who will, generally, be without empathy, compassion, and remorse—typical signs of a psychopath, in fact. Regardless of this correlation between behaviors, narcissists are not necessarily psychopaths. Those with sociopathic/anti-social personality disorders are apt to have an enhanced lack of empathy and less impulse control. In their book Personality Disorders in Modern Life, Theodore Millon, Carrie M. Millon, Sarah Meagher, Seth Grossman, and Rowena Ramnath say of some narcissists that they "incorporate moral values into their exaggerated sense of superiority. Here, moral laxity is seen (by the narcissist) as evidence of inferiority and it is those who are unable to remain morally pure who are looked upon with contempt." Whereas individuals with anti-social or dissocial personality disorders calculate and pre-meditate their actions, narcissists are more ignorant and apathetic of those around them.
What is the best way to deal with a narcissist? Don’t. By their very nature, a narcissists’ self-worth is drawn from their maladaptive behaviors, enablers will nurture these behaviors and thus continue through the cycle of the narcissistic behavior. The value of not associating with this type of person is not being drawn into their reality of a world that revolves around them.
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